the whispers of the demons inside would seize my head,
and spread a distaste for my religion,
oh how i’d dread
leaving my bed
to make sure I’ve read,
what Allah ﷻ has said.
Upon familiarising myself with what Allah ﷻ had said,
I’d always wonder why such a God ﷻ would find joy in punishing us all once we’re dead,
“Fear Allah ﷻ, otherwise you will be welcomed with Jahannam ahead”,
Fam, the Islam I was taught was no different than the extremists that use Islam to behead,
because I’d be in fear of sinning to the point where I’d dread
doing anything remotely fun in case I’d tread
the line of becoming a sinner
and what’s crazy is the fact that my book of sins we’re even being read
by Allah ﷻ because I weren’t at that age.
I’m realising that the Islam that the elders would imbed,
and ingrain into my head,
were all there to keep me passive and misled.
Do the elders not realize that the Islam they taught me lead
and gave the satans around me an opportunity to play with my head,
and instead of keeping me steadfast it actually fed doubts into my head.
Why would Allah ﷻ prefer making sure the blazing fires of Jahannam were being fed?
I look back and realize how naive I was,
silly me for obeying my desires.
little did I know that Allah ﷻ loves me more than my own mother ever could and that made me forget the statements I made prior,
and despite satan’s whispering and constant glorification of the haram lifestyle which would have inevitably lead me to the fire,
I thank the elders for allowing me to taste an inexplicable feeling of intrinsic peace — it’s been my purifier.
That feeling of ease cannot be found in anything except the words of Allah ﷻ and the practices of Islam that require you to obey the laws of Allah in it’s entire form.
and after all the instant gratification,
it left my heart void and constantly craving for a neverending feeling of satisfaction.
Satan never leaves you feeling content.
Reminiscent of the days which I took for granted,
my heart was in dire need of peace and tranquility,
one that I have now planted.
May Allah ﷻ forgive us all for our shortcomings.
May Allah ﷻ reward our elders on their intentions rather than the consequences they may have reaped. Verily, they probably intend good on us all.
F.A. 29/05/2017 🌷