الشّعَفُ / اللَّوْعَةُ / اللعَاج (sha’af, law’ah, li’aj) = Passion in love.

My soul yearns to have a taste of real love.
don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean this in a lustful manner,
but my heart longs for a love that’s zealous.
And I guess that’s my weakness.

My soul craves a kind of love that is characterized by devotion and overwhelming passion.
and maybe that explains why it is agitating for me to settle for any less.
Because ultimately, I desire someone that is able to embody strength. The ultimate strength required to cope with the very fibre of who I am.
But I assume my standards are too high for this society because, nowadays niggas ain’t tryna get to know you. They’re just there to have their needs fulfilled and thus using you as a means to satisfy that. It is a ferocious cycle to be involved in. Especially if you are the victim of this relationship, please know that you are worth more than be used as a sexual tool.

Nevertheless, please don’t mistake me for being stingy. I may be a little stingy, I admit that but if I make the conscious decision to sign a life-long contract that binds me to you, I will reciprocate the very trait of devotion and passion I would expect from you. But in order for that to happen, the minimum requirement is for us to sign that contract. I can’t fall for these false tales and empty promises. I guess that’s why I stay standing alone. Firmly. 

But hear this, I come from a religious perspective – oh how religion has been the best filter for me. I sincerely believe that real love can be attained only through the institution of marriage, no disrespect to those that are in happy relationships outside of marriage – that is my subjective truth. I also acknowledge the fact that adultery occurs within the institution of marriage, so don’t get at me. But Allah ‎ﷻ stated:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”

That is the only reason why I’ve managed to remain optimistic about love, otherwise at this point I would have given up. Loving someone is so exhausting, I suppose it’s because my love is so pure and so delicate. I thus fear feeling vulnerable around people that don’t deserve to see me in that light.

I execute the art of hiding my vulnerability exceptionally. The security guards inside me perform a wonderful job of banishing those that are unworthy away from my heart. They don’t allow me to fall for anyone carelessly, that requires paper work for you to be able to access my purest form of love.

I guess you can say that my idea of love is pretty orthodox. But this is justice for the children that I may bear in the future. They do not deserve to have some any worthless nigga to be their father.

🌷F.A. 29/04/2017 🌷

One thought on “الشّعَفُ / اللَّوْعَةُ / اللعَاج (sha’af, law’ah, li’aj) = Passion in love.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s